Funny Quotes

Short and sharp, these funny quotes are guaranteed to make everyone laugh with their wit and irony.

Here are the Quotoo.com quotes from the Funny quotes category!

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.	View
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've ...	View
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make t...	View
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, w...	View
By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You ...	View
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on the...	View
Make crime pay - become a lawyer.	View
If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then i...	View
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of c...	View
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to b...	View
Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he'll end up hating...	View
Good gossip is just what's going on. Bad gossip is stuff that is sa...	View
What we see depends mainly on what we look for.	View

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another.

An Irishman needs three things: silence, cunning and exile.

From the great Gales of Ireland are the men that God made mad, for all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.

St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time, a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into summer's magic.

Some see things the way they are and ask, Why? I dream things that never were, and ask Why not?